Why Success & Satisfaction Rarely Meet?
In the 1975 Bollywood movie, Deewaar (the wall), the story unfolds of two brothers, struggling to survive in the slums of Mumbai. The elder sibling Vijay turns out to be a gangster, while the younger, Ravi becomes an honest cop. An informal meeting takes place under an overbridge. Vijay (played by Amitabh Bachchan) advises Ravi (played by Shashi Kapoor) to take a transfer. There is an intense argument between the two. Amitabh Bachchan launches into a lengthy diatribe and reminds Ravi of the wealth he owns (bungalow, cars, properties, and a bank balance) and challenges his brother, ‘What do you have?’. Millions of Indians will remember the iconic dialogue he delivered in response: ‘Mere Paas Maa Hai’ (I have Mother) signifying the importance of a mother as compared to material possessions. Vijay may appear to be successful, but it is Ravi who is most satisfied.
Why is it that success does not essentially bring satisfaction along, and vice versus? We are all aware of individuals and teams who find success in their multiple projects and pursuits, yet they feel they miss something. Success and satisfaction are related but distinct concepts. Success leads to achieving a goal or objective, while satisfaction refers to a feeling of contentment or fulfillment. The former can be measured in different ways, such as by achieving financial or career goals, winning a competition, or completing a project. Success can provide a sense of accomplishment, boost confidence, and lead to further opportunities.
Relying solely on external measures of success may not lead to a sense of internal satisfaction. Success does not necessarily guarantee satisfaction. For example, a person may achieve great success in their career, earning a high salary, receiving accolades, and gaining promotion to a leadership position, but they may not feel satisfied with their life. They may experience stress, burnout, or a lack of meaning and purpose in their work. Success can be fleeting, and the pursuit of success can become a never-ending cycle, leading to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Success can lead to isolation from friends, family, and social networks, which can impact overall life satisfaction, and very often it is said,‘it is indeed lonely at the top’. Success can create pressure to maintain or exceed previous achievements, leading to stress, anxiety, and a sense of never being satisfied with one's accomplishments. The success that does not align with personal values and beliefs may not provide a sense of satisfaction or purpose.
On the other hand, a person may not have achieved conventional measures of success but may feel deeply satisfied with their life. They may have close relationships, pursue hobbies and interests that bring them joy, or engage in meaningful volunteer work .On the other hand, satisfaction can provide a more enduring sense of well-being and happiness. Satisfaction is a subjective experience that depends on one's values, beliefs, and expectations. It can arise from a sense of purpose, meaningful relationships, or personal growth. Satisfaction can lead to a sense of well-being, happiness, and fulfillment, even if one has not achieved external measures of success. Successful individuals may not be satisfied for several reasons:
•Perfectionism: Successful individuals may have high standards for themselves and their work, leading to a constant pursuit of excellence that can be challenging to maintain. This constant striving can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a sense that they could always do better.
•Pressure: Successful individuals are often under intense pressure to perform, deliver results, and meet expectations. This pressure can be challenging to manage, leading to stress and burnout, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction.
•Lack of balance: Successful individuals may prioritise their work over other areas of their life, such as family, friends, hobbies, or personal growth. This imbalance can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a sense of missing out on other important aspects of life.
•Imposter syndrome: Successful leaders may struggle with imposter syndrome, a psychological pattern in which they doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as frauds. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a constant need to prove themselves.
•Lack of purpose: Successful leaders may achieve their goals but still feel unfulfilled or lacking a sense of purpose. This can be because their success does not align with their values or because they lack a broader sense of meaning in their work or life.
•Unfulfilled expectations: Often, successful people set high expectations for themselves and their teams, and when those expectations are not met, they may feel dissatisfied. This could be due to a variety of reasons such as external factors beyond their control, or simply not achieving the desired outcome.
Both success and satisfaction are rare because they are subjective, multifaceted, and require effort and perseverance. Achieving them often involves making difficult choices and overcoming external obstacles. They are also personal concepts, that each individual can define on their own terms. Therefore, rather than focusing on society's expectations, individuals should strive to find their own path to success and satisfaction that aligns with their values and passions.
