It Is Good To Be Ordinary
Are you a college topper? Did you go to an Ivy League school? Are you a CEO? Are you in the Top three of your industry charts? Are you on the 30 under 30 lists? Have you won this and that award? Do you have a million followers on social media? Do your kids go to tennis, chess, Math Olympiad, school drama, or violin classes after school? Did you go to the US Open finals?
From all around us, there is so much pressure to be a winner. To be extraordinary. To be special. To be a notch above everyone else. This pressure is simply not funny. And in most cases, such societal pressure is a cruel expectation.
Intellectually, we understand that there is a ‘normal curve’, a universal axiom that has been known for centuries. The Central Limit Theorem (CLT) avers that (in most common scenarios) anytime “a bunch of things are added up,” a normal distribution is going to result.
The CLT shows up in all sorts of real-world situations: height, a roll of dice, toss of a coin, IQ, Income distribution, shoe size, student’s report card, or birth weight. Even as an average individual, most of us also intuitively get this. Yet, there is pressure on everyone to be above average!
One sees advertisements featuring celebrities for brand endorsements with their halo of “extraordinariness” to peddle “ordinary” products used by “ordinary” consumers. Heart of hearts, we know that those celebrities won’t be travelling to the local suburban market in that swanky car, to ever shop for those FMCG products. And for all we care, they may not even actually ever use some of those domestic branded products. Yet we enjoy those ads, and even believe in those products being featured. Have you ever wondered – Why?
Why not have ads that feature “ordinary” people? Will we find those ads memorable and credible?
Materialism and ‘maange more’
With our world emphasising materialism, there seems to be a notion, that we are inadequate because we lack possessions within or outside. This inadequacy is experienced, despite the presence of stimulating challenges, enjoying all creature comforts of life, and strong relationships. It is as if life urges us to keep striving, rather than to enjoy thriving. (Like Dil Maange More). It is ironic that while we enjoy a better quality of life than our previous generation, we are relatively less happy, with a risk of depression and social pathology.
Undoubtedly as social animals, we bask in the status wealth provides. It allows us the façade to trick the other that we have it all together, while deep down the human hunger is the wish to be loved. Wealth creates a feeling of entitlement and self-interest and lowers compassion and empathy. The same sense of ambitions and aspirations seem to be set in stone in the world of corporates. What then results is the KRA setting and KPI development towards sheer milestones (financial outcomes)? Yea, they are important for businesses. But what about values, ethos, cultural bindings, and inclusive moorings?
While corporates wish to develop more extraordinary individuals, the actual trick in developing individuals and leaders is in shaping ordinary individuals to deliver extraordinary outcomes. But then, do we invest much time, energy, and other resources? Knowing fully well, that it cannot be a downloaded solution to an HR objective?
The world needs a different kind of richness. In our view, a rich person is a healer, a restorer, a storyteller, a lover. This kind of richness makes the world more humane. A hero does not have to wear a cape and work to ‘save the world’: to be a pop star, soccer or tennis great.
Rather the hero is the more ordinary person, like our parents who toiled hard so that we could have many of our needs fulfilled, that provided a nurturing and caring environment, from which we derived our values. Our societies will be able to offer many inspirational stories of ordinary lives, who achieved extraordinary results. The recent pandemic has made abundant many stories of extraordinary efforts by the Covid warriors, who are ordinary people.
Societal mishap
However, the ‘ordinary’ kind of life is considered akin to being a loser. We imagine that a quiet life is something that only a failed person without options would ever seek. The ordinary may surprisingly be the emotional superstars, the privileged who can be ordinary while the damned ‘other’ are compelled to be remarkable.
A very live question that we need to respond to is, “If I accept that I am ordinary, then I will never be respected or achieve anything.”.
It might be useful to ask yourself: Where in your life do you feel like you are struggling to be extraordinary? Where in your life do you want to apply the healing balm of normalcy? Why are you putting pressure on yourself to be extraordinary? Who are you comparing yourself to?
We have only a finite amount of time to live our life. Between our ideals, and what is ideal living, the choices are lesser if we choose qualitatively positive aspects. It is NOW – the time to accept excellence as a choice, and not chase only perfection.
Every day we are faced with many things that can cause us to feel stuck in an average life, eventually falling victim to what is called the force of average. We even feel guilty of being who we are or what we are. Instead of just being, as we are. It is quite alright to be ordinary. Just plain and simple – ordinary.
