Why We Fail Part 1
Failure precedes Success.
Think of all the times that you have wanted to accomplish or achieve something and did not go past your thinking of planning stage. Then think of some reasons that you may have come up to justify to yourself why you did not even start the process of wanting to achieve what you set out to do. This is failure.
It is in our nature to procrastinate and to come up with reasons for not doing something that will need an effort on our part. Some of us procrastinate better than others while others can come up with reasons for not doing something better than other. There is also another category among us who have finetuned the ability to blame someone else or something else for failing.
Let us examine some of the reasons we fail and how we can develop coping strategies for these failures.
*We fail because we do not network or build strong relationships
We are social people. We need communities to survive and thrive. We depend on our networks and relationships. If we shy away from these, we are making ourselves lonely.
We will miss quite a number of opportunities if we do not invest time to build strong relationships with those who can help us. Unfortunately, many underestimate the importance of networking. Networking helps us to meet exactly those people whose interests align with our own.
*We fail because we refuse to take good advice
To succeed at anything, we follow the tried and tested process of planning, executing, getting feedback, course correcting and planning all over again. Those of us who believe that we know everything and refuse feedback are committing a grave error. Most people who refuse feedback are protecting their ego. They cannot believe that anyone has the ability to improve upon what they have planned and set out to achieve.
Some people fail because they do not accept valuable feedback. On the contrary they start getting into an argument to prove that they are right. The reason for this is simple. Listening to feedback and other people’s advice, in their opinion is akin to an acknowledgment of their own faults, which is something they try to avoid at any cost.
*We fail because of lack of self-discipline, and we get easily distracted
Success requires discipline. If we lack self-discipline and get easily distracted it is more likely that our short-term temptations will lead us nowhere. If we cannot discipline ourselves there is no point in making any sacrifice for tomorrow.
There is too much happening around us. We are being bombarded with information every waking hour and we are always struggling to keep track. This can be very disruptive when we are at work or in a relationship. Think of the times you have been asked by your boss or your colleagues to stop looking at your phone in a meeting. Think of the time your family or partner has asked you to pay attention and not respond to messages while you are in a conversation with them.
*We fail because we do not take responsibility for our actions
Life is unfair. Our first reaction after disbelief is to find someone to blame. The unwillingness to take responsibility is closely related to making excuses.
We look around to find a scapegoat. To fix our challenges, we need to hold ourselves responsible and accountable. If we do not assume responsibility for our actions, we will never be able to solve the challenges we are confronted with. To solve the challenges, we must be in a position of control. Otherwise, everything that happens to us happens by coincidence or accident, which means we cannot do anything to change.
*We fail because we do not believe we can do it
Our unconscious mind governs our beliefs and behaviours. The effort to reward ratio is well understood by our mind and communicated to our body before we start a task.
Intelligence and talent are not necessarily what separates successful people from the not so successful ones. The major difference lies in the fact that successful individuals believe in themselves. This belief helps them accomplish the goals they set for themselves. Their strong belief in themselves encourages them to seize opportunities that others pass on. People who are not so successful are constantly looking for excuses to pass opportunities.
*We fail because we defer decisions, or we simply do not care
Successful individuals avoid procrastination. It is an important capability that helps them to keep their productivity at a constant high level. Some of us procrastinate simply to avoid starting off something new. Others procrastinate the moment they are faced with any difficulties or challenges. In both cases procrastination leads to a delay in decision making and probably jeopardises what we are setting out to do
*We fail because we believe we do not deserve what we want
A lot of us live with an inner belief that we either do not deserve more or we already have more than we deserve. Our mind-set has a degree of guilt associated with success and prosperity. Something inside us makes us feel uncomfortable with the idea of accomplishing too much too soon.
Success sits very lightly on some shoulders and is a big burden for others. This could manifest itself in multiple scenarios. A dream job. The love of your life. The creative opportunity you have been looking for. Travelling to places in your bucket list. Getting invited to a talk with someone you admire. Your self-belief will find ways to raise so many questions in your mind that you will either pass the opportunity or mess it up.
*We fail because of our inability to manage our distractions
Our life is full of distractions. These always look far more attractive and interesting than the task that we are setting out for ourselves. Think of all the times that you are grappling with a difficult situation and your mind keeps wandering to do more interesting things. Distractions take away our focus from the task at hand and this could result in the difference between success and failure.
Our ability to ignore our distractions is a major factor for our success. If we have the mental strength to abstain from all the distractions, we will be far more productive and achieve the goals that we are setting out for ourselves.
When we learn from our failures, we are opening the doors for our success.
The author is a CEO Coach, a Storyteller and an Angel Investor. He hosts the highly successful podcast titled The Brand Called You. A keen political observer and commentator, he is also the founder Chairman of Guardian Pharmacies. He is the author of 8 best-selling books and writes for several online newspapers.
Twitter: @gargashutosh
Instagram: ashutoshgarg56
