Who's Pushing Your Buttons?

I was 8 years old and my family and I we were living in a 3 room flat on the 8th floor of an apartment block. We had 3 TV sets, one in each room. My brother was watching some cartoon while my parents were watching a movie, and I was trying to find something to watch too. I was surprised when I pushed the remote control and nothing happened. I tried again and again but still nothing. Then I heard my parents complaining that they couldn't see the movie because the TV channels kept changing. I realised then that I was using their remote control and was unknowingly changing the channels on their TV. With amusement I gave their remote back. The question to you is: who's pushing your buttons?

Many times people are not even conscious that someone else is influencing their decisions. It could be a friend or parents, teachers or - yeah - the media. But… Is it unhealthy if someone else is changing your channels? First of all we tend to think that it's not good to be controlled, but as a second thought it's not always a bad thing. The question is whether we are consciously allowing ourselves to be influenced or not.

It's easy to influence someone if that person doesn't have goals to reach. I was a soccer player. I was a defender. I was a tough one. There were some strengths I possessed, I was fast, I was determined, I had the physical strength so if there was an attack, they had to be resolute, fast and strong to tackle me. It was so easy to imbalance the striker if he didn't have any of those qualities. He could be the most technical player, but if his focus was missing, he had zero chance. The same happens to everyone who doesn't have a real focus, a real goal, a real direction in life where they are heading.

The goal could be a real driving force, but you have to be able to measure your progress in reaching it. I've been mentoring so many leaders and it's amazing to see how many do not have goals. Not to speak of having it written down and putting the right steps beside it. Do you have written goals? Do you check regularly whether you are in the right direction to attain those?

You know most leaders have set goals for their businesses: we should reach 12% increase in sales in the next quarter; we should open a new branch in Europe by 2018 and should attain 20% of the targeted market in 3 years, after the new branch is operational… but when it comes to their personal life, they just don't have measurable goals and unknowingly let others push their buttons.

What's more interesting is that since they are leaders in their company they think that they still own that position at home. But home is home, he's not the boss any more. He is an equal member of a community called family. When they don't recognise this change of position, that they cannot behave as they like, and that others fail to be attentive to their wants, then they get frustrated as well as angry. This is so obvious when they have small children, because the children are in control. They control your time, your activities sometimes even what you eat. So you have to have a balanced and goal oriented life, otherwise you will end up getting old and wondering what went wrong.

There are 4 areas of life that should be in balance: rest, race, recreation and relationships. It's hard to live a balanced life if you don't have goals for yourself and for your family. These goals will determine how much you should allow others to influence your life and how much you should take control. Everything that surrounds us, everyone who we associate with has an effect on us, so we should decide carefully who we are with, and it's important for us to arrange our environment in such a way that it helps us, and not deters us in reaching our goals.

Here is a tip. Do the Goal Setting Challenge and see for yourself how your life changes in a month.


The challenge:
Preparation:
Have a paper notebook (with at least 30 pages in it) or create a new excel file in your computer.

Step One
Write down 3-5 goals in each of the following areas:
1) personal life
2) profession
3) finance
4) transcendence or spiritual life

Step Two
Write down the measuring criteria to all of your goals
If you're ready then put it aside and the next day take your excel sheet or paper notebook and without reading the previous aims, repeat the two steps. Do this for 30 days. If you have done it then you will have a complete picture of your present goals and you're ready to work towards them. Many times I've seen that people start realising their goals even during the 30 days. This simple exercise sometimes changes people's lives within a week. I wish you a happy and fruitful setting of goals!