What Women Really Need

The word feminist has few takers nowadays. Many connotations are layered on this term and we loosely understand it as something that makes us look like rebellious, misandrous women. And we don’t connect to that.

The contemporary woman is not interested in fighting men. She simply yearns for her own place under the sun where she is valued as an individual, with her own path and choices, without being diminished and discounted as inferior and inadequate.

A woman from Germany once told me what when she walks in for meetings with her male secretary, her counterparts often receive the man ingratiatingly assuming he’s the boss and patronisingly smile at her taking her to be the secretary.

A female head of a tech company shared how she had a hard time convincing a male employee’s mother that she was indeed her son’s boss. Another leader rued how despite progressive ad campaigns, parents in India still ask their daughters to make tea for guests and not sons.

The good news is that global leaders are speaking up. Prime Minister Narendra Modi voiced his concern over the skewed upbringing of boys and girls during his maiden Independence Day speech. Former US President Jimmy Carter opened a recent Ted talk with an unequivocal stance that “the number one abuse of human rights on Earth is the abuse of women and girls.”

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau proclaimed himself as a feminist. (Perhaps men will reclaim that word even as women shun it.) It’s reassuring to see men taking note. Awareness is crucial to action. However, there’s a missing piece here — awakening of every woman. I was once asked by the chairman of an American MNC about the three things I believe that empower women, and I said, “self­ belief” three times over. Self­-belief or “atmavishvas” as we say in India means “an abiding faith in the divine power in one self.” Just as every seed has an innate consciousness of all that it will flower into, each person is like a seed, awaiting the awakening of his or her destiny.

We as women need to awaken our inner power through self-­belief.

We have to start healing our psyches by listening to ourselves. Let’s start where we can. If we like colours, let’s wear them. If we prefer afternoons to network, let’s do it. I recall a women’s meet in Muscat where the ladies opted to have a ‘boat meeting’ instead of a ‘board meeting’ in a hotel banquet. It was creative and fun. It was also in support of the boat’s owner who was a woman.

We have to honour all that makes us women. The celebration of ourselves has to begin from inside out and outside in. I was once at a conference in the UK in my traditional Indian attire. A businessman came up to me and commented, “Oh, you are dressed like a queen.” And I replied, “Yes, because I feel like one.” When we do not dismiss ourselves, no one else will.

Let’s stand in sisterhood with other women in their journeys. Let’s shower the empowering energy of belief on them through encouragement and applause. The shared process of awakening can become a celebration for all. Just like an educated woman educates a family, an awakened woman awakens the whole world. So go on, awaken your gift. The universe awaits.