“We put terrible pressure on our minds. When we tighten them or harden our views or beliefs, we lose all the softness and flexibility that makes for real shelter, belonging, and protection. Sometimes the best way of caring for your soul is to make flexible again some of the views that harden and crystalize your mind; for these alienate you from your own depth and beauty.” John O'Donohue
We are surrounded by predetermined choices in our lives today. From expectations for our careers to aspirations for our personal life to goals for our well-being, including fitness, we are always playing ‘catch-up’ with set standards. While there is nothing wrong with chasing a worthy dream, we need to understand that the ideal imagination is often at loggerheads with the actual lives we lead. Circumstances may be favourable or unfavourable to accomplishing our aims but they will always most certainly be changing. In such a case, it is not always possible to get what we want, at least not necessarily in the form that we would like it in. What is the response to this capriciousness of life? The answer lies in the deceptively simple idea of flexibility.
What do you do when you do not achieve what you aimed to? The answer can be accomplishing something better than the goal you had set out to target if you embrace dynamism and reject rigidity. Flexibility is more than just bending under the might of circumstances, it is about strategically adapting to an ever-changing world and creating good results for yourself, even when they might not be the exact thing you had endeavoured for. It is not a compromise, but a smart reconfiguration of reality to ensure that you are well-placed as you journey across changing times and contexts.
Consider an imaginary situation where you had planned to pursue a particular course at your dream college and did not make the cut-off due to a rise in the required score due to better overall results than expected. An inflexible person would completely rule out any manoeuvring around the circumstances, may get disenchanted upon failure or may think of trying next year for the same course. On the other hand, a flexible person can acknowledge the hard facts of the situation and look at other prospects, such as pursuing the desired course at the next best college in the same year, not impeding his/her/their progress or informedly looking at the next best option in the same college, or thinking of utilising the year with an alternative plan instead of drowning in despondency. Being open to changing your plans saves you a great deal of suffering and stagnancy and lets you transcend your comfort zone of aspirations to realistically turn your potential into something meaningful.
Several success stories demonstrate the benefit of being dynamic against difficulty and the inevitability of change. Joy Behar, the illustrious talk show host, as numerous publications report, was a teacher before an ectopic pregnancy caused her a deadly brush with death, and she realized that she had to make the most of her dreams. Consequently, she abandoned her safe career and moved to stand-up comedy in 80s, eventually becoming one of the co-hosts of the long-running talk show, The View. Terry Crews, the well-known actor as CNBC notes, happened to be in debt in college and played in the NFL, facing extreme financial insecurity before he switched careers and became a successful Hollywood actor. Because life and the world around us are a lot less stable than it might be commonly assumed, to be ready for change and accepting instability is perhaps the only safety blanket we can truly have.
Gerry Spence had once remarked, "I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." Even when we might like to stay in the certainty of fixed plans and live in the fear of the unknown, it is best to anticipate that things might not go the way we have planned them to go and stay prepared for any upheavals. We must replace fear with dynamism and push our limits, for the world will surprise us.
The biggest lesson from the COVID-19 pandemic arguably is the lesson of perseverance and persevering in our life-affirming efforts can be a lot easier if we choose to strategically define and dare to redefine our paths as per the evolving and shape-shifting state of affairs in the world. Flexibility is about survival and is a route to thriving irrespective of our circumstances. Staying open to change, we must keep strategically marching on, creating a favourable life, every step of the way.
Viiveck Verma is the Founder and CEO for Upsurge Global and Adjunct Professor and Advisor to EThames College