Sssh! Let’s Talk About Money
Money is like Sex.
No one likes to talk about it. Either how much they have or how much they are willing to give. People who are broke don’t like to admit it – I don’t know why – I think it’s a noble thing to be broke. And when someone wants some money from a friend they ask like a teenager asking a girl for a kiss (or more) – ‘err may I ask you something, if you don’t mind etc. etc.’
Now I’ve really never understood this. Why all the embarrassment and shame and hesitation? It’s only money. Some people have it and some people don’t. Some people have lots of it and others have very little.
Two of my friends are bankrupt – and when I say that I mean it – they don’t even know where their next rent is coming from.
They have told only a handful of people about it and I sometimes think what a wonderful world if they could just let everyone know and people could help them without judging.
I give them both money whenever I can. And I tell them clearly that I’m giving it, not lending it. What’s the point of lending money to someone who has none? Just give it.
When I was setting up my company I needed ‘seed capital.’ In informal language it’s called the friends and family funding round.
That’s when I discovered how much Money and Sex match. I found four responses out of the first 12 I approached.
6 True Loves: These were people who I thought were close friends and turned out to be that and more. They were so excited about my venture that they wanted to give a cheque even before I made my presentation. Not all of them were that wealthy but they were truly rich with love and friendship.
3 Surprise matches: These were people who I had on the initial list but didn’t really expect them to participate. But they did and almost instantly. Guess they had more belief in me than I had thought.
1 Strip Tease: I should have just said tease but this sounded much better. This guy never said no. He kept saying yes sure. Even when after a month I asked him ‘Dude please confirm or back out’ he said ‘No no I’m in.’ It’s three years later now, and he still hasn’t said no!
2 Virgins of Valhalla: These were both fabulously wealthy guys with over Rs 100 crore in their banks but refused to invest because they didn’t want Money to come in the way of Friendship.
I still have no clue what this means even though one of them came to my house twice to explain (Kullarr buddy let’s not mix business and personal).
Frankly there was no separation in my mind – this was as personal as anything – it was the mission of my life!
I now realise they must be Virgins of Valhalla – allowed to take all the virtues and cash they have up to heaven.
To date the guys who have invested have doubled their money value and I aim to cash them out next year. Let’s see.
As with sex. If successful you get pregnant. Then deliver. I fully intend to.
