Profile: Act After Act

At the age of 11, when most children would be out playing with friends or watching television, Vidya Balan remembers dancing wildly in front of the mirror, with her skirt swirling around her, to the tune of yesteryear star Madhuri Dixit’s popular “Ek do teen...” song.

That was also the time when she devoured movies, watching regional films along with her mother on lazy afternoons and losing herself in the roles played by stars whom she admired. It was unheard of, back then, for a middle-class South Indian girl to want to be an actor and her worried mom, at one point, cautioned her against “carrying this fancy too far’. “But I had already carried it too far. I knew I would be an actor, “ says Vidya, comfortably ensconced on a sofa in her sea-facing Mumbai apartment, gazing out at the red-gold of the Arabian sea shimmering in the evening sun.

No Overnight Success
Not that it happened overnight or without struggle. Like every outsider wanting to get into the charmed circle of the film industry, the teenager who got her first break into the entertainment world with a television serial when she was just 16, went through a tough phase after her big splash with Pradeep Sarcar’s Parineeta.

Hitting A Low
Sadly, even when some of her films fared badly at the box office, it was not her acting ability that was doubted but her ability to fit the stereotype of the female actor in the film industry; “There was a phase in 2007-08 when I hit a low due to all that talk about my needing to be more glamorous,” she says. She did not say the right things and she did not wear the right clothes.

"But eventually, I realised that my basic structure was never going to change and I would never go under the knife to please people. I stopped caring about external things and began loving my body the way it was. Of course, it took a toll on me when I was going through it, but maybe it was for a good reason because today I have the courage to do exactly what I please and wear what I want.”

The same self-confidence has helped Vidya over the past two years as she became comfortable in her own skin, choosing work that she was instinctively attracted to. While there have been naysayers in plenty to criticise her choice of films, Vidya is quick to point out: Ishquiyaa and The Dirty Picture were films people dissuaded me from taking up because I was being cast opposite a much older actor, Naseer Saab. I didn’t pay heed because I loved the script and was thirsting to pounce on those roles.”

Futile Control
The actor who has played a diverse range of roles including that of a Hyderabadi detective and an unwed mother struggling with her son’s progeria syndrome, admits that for a brief while, the heady success of the initial years put huge pressure on her, resulting in her second guessing her own choices. “After I saw the kind of success I got, I felt I had to have more control on things because, suddenly, everyone was talking about my wise choices and asking me how I managed. The simple truth is you don’t know how you did it, it just happens. The fact is the more you control something, the more it backfires. Thankfully, I have realised it now and have stopped trying to control things,” she says.

Following her heart has very obviously worked for the actor who is today the proud recipient of multiple awards including a National Film Award and five Filmfare Awards in her decade-long career. In 2014 she was bestowed the prestigious Padma Shri, an honour which she says humbled her and moved her to tears.

Strength To Strength
“I’m very happy that at the age of 37, I’m offered very exciting parts that challenge me and make me want to go back on set, despite the nervousness,” says Vidya, “When I started out at 26, I was told it was already late and that my career would not go places because the shelf life of female actors is short. By God’s grace I’ve only gone from strength to strength.”

When she looks back, Vidya is amazed at how her life has panned out because she never planned it the way it happened. “I never live in the future,” she says, “I don’t live in the past. I’m fully here and now. I’ve grown a lot, learnt a lot but even today, I am nervous the first time I have to read a script aloud.”

“When my family and industry friends celebrated my decade in the film industry, I could not believe I have been part of it for so long, but there is a sense of gratitude for what has come my way. And even if I never dreamt of any of this, my life does seem like a dream just now,” she says.