How Can You Build Deeper Relationships?
How do you build trust?
The first step of building trust in any relationship is through connection. A connection can be on a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual level. However, it is the quality of communication that determines the depth of the association.
When communication is one-sided, it creates a see-saw effect, resulting in an imbalanced and unstable relationship. Only when the communication is open and flowing can there be balance and stability in that relationship.
Why do the communications break?
When you operate in an auto mode, you can quickly react and unconsciously create a superficial or triggered connection. It results in reactive communication, fuelled by a series of underlying unprocessed emotions. These emotions come from ineffective and broken communications from the past that create misunderstanding and false perceptions. Most times, we are unaware of our feelings and unclear about what we genuinely want unless we open up to communicate.
Why do we fear open communication?
The biggest fear of communication is sharing vulnerabilities. It is a belief that if we express our vulnerability, we show our weakness. We often do not connect to our feelings because we fear we might lose control. However, once we understand these vulnerabilities are a gateway to deeper understanding, trust, and authentic relationships, we will see the strength and power of communication our vulnerabilities bring.
How can you improve the quality of connection and communication?
Deeper connection and communication come by practicing active listening when you are willing to listen to others and yourself.
Active listening requires your awareness, openness, and full presence with the person or your situation. The more you connect mindfully, the more you observe what is missing, what is required, and where is the gap. You can then focus on how to achieve it efficiently, effectively, and empathetically by bridging that gap.
How to create win-win situations?
When you become an observer, you connect to what the other person is trying to communicate and relate to the underlying frustrations and challenges. You also witness your reactions and feelings to the situation. You now place yourself in an empowered state to choose and respond in finding practical solutions and not merely getting triggered to react. Your communication now becomes a win-win situation because it has solutions that work on mutual interests. You now have access to deeper and more authentic relationships with others and yourself.
The most significant barrier is we do not listen to understand; we listen to reply.
