<div>July 15. Full Stop. Telegram will die.<br /><br />Nostalgic obits are being written to the soon to be obsolete telegram. Several die-hards are even frantically sending telegraphic appeals to the Prime Minister urging reconsideration. Code 100 - the number in the telegraph system denoting grief - has been much invoked.<br /><br />But take heart all those heartbroken by the news of the telegram’s imminent demise. When one business goes obsolete, it also opens windows of opportunity to another.<br /> <br />Take www.telegramstop – a smart dotcom spawned in the US. It recreates the telegram of yore and allows people to send off momentous news in the old historical way. “Our telegrams are made to look and feel like a classic telegram from the original days,” is the promise.<br /><br />Of course, the service comes at a cost - $7.15 says the site.<br /><br /><img width="300" vspace="8" hspace="8" height="179" align="right" alt="" src="/image/image_gallery?uuid=752a7f7c-c7e5-45c3-ba35-23fa7e1d6506&groupId=36166&t=1371358455586" />In the US, Western Union telegram services were closed in 2006. But nostalgia clearly rules even in this age of twitter and instant messages going by the number of telegrams the site claims to have sent off. It even has a iPhone app, by the way. Over 5,700 Wedding telegrams, over 6,600 anniversary messages, over 7,000 birth messages – but hold your breath, the maximum telegrams going out are “marketing” messages. Go figure!<br /><br />Significantly, no condolence messages are listed. Retro is purely for good news.<br /><br />In India, of course, the telegram was mostly regarded as a portent of bad news – and the arrival of the post man bearing the telegram was greeted with a bit of trepidation.<br /><br />Not so in Britain, where a much awaited telegram is from the Queen herself – she wishes every centenarian in the country.<br /><br /> </div><div>Though now, even the Queen’s anniversary telegram has got converted into a card delivered through normal postal channels.<br /><br /> </div><table width="217" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="1" border="1" align="left"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><strong><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 0);">Telegram Trivia</span></strong></td></tr><tr><td><strong>Shortest telegram ever sent. Oscar Wilde wanting to know how his book was doing sent his publisher this message - ?<br />The reply telegram he got - !</strong></td></tr></tbody></table><div>Brevity might have been a virtue when sending telegrams, but many old timers recall long-winded messages. It was common enough in newspapers. Old timers on the news desk recall how in the 80s election news despatches would be sent by outstation reporters via telegram and some would run into 800-1000 words. It was left to the poor sub editor to decode the punctuation in caps (Bihar chief minister, COMMA, ...) and unravel the garbled report.<br /><br />Everyone has their favourite telegram stories – but nothing could be more priceless than this fictional exchange between Bertie Wooster and Aunt Dahlia in P G Wodehouse’s Ring for Jeeves. It starts off with Aunt Dahlia summoning Bertie to the stately country manor where she resides - Brinkley Court.<br /><br /><em>Come at once. Travers.<br /><br />Perplexed. Explain. Bertie.<br /><br />What on earth is there to be perplexed about, ass? Come at once. Travers.<br /><br /></em><strong>Three cigarettes puffed in an agitated fashion later, Bertie responds:</strong><em><br /><br />How do you mean come at once? Regards. Bertie.<br /></em><strong><br />Obviously, the reply is heated.</strong><em><br /><br />I mean come at once, you maddening half-wit. What did you think I meant? Come at once or expect an aunt's curse first post tomorrow. Love. Travers<br /><br />When you say "Come" do you mean "Come to Brinkley Court"? And when you say "At once" do you mean "At once"? Fogged. At a loss. All the best. Bertie.<br /><br />Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It doesn't matter whether you understand or not. You just come at once, as I tell you, and for heaven's sake stop this back-chat. Do you think I am made of money that I can afford to send you telegrams every ten minutes. Stop being a fathead and come immediately. Love. Travers.</em><br /> <br />And speaking of obsolete messaging services, guess which one stands threatened next. Telegram gone, could it be Email next?<br /><br />With the advent of instant messaging services, that’s the prediction doing the digital rounds.<br /><br />Sounds unthinkable?<br /> <br />But don't worry - somebody somewhere will come up with a smart retro marketing opportunity like our telegramstop friends. <br /><br />Chitra(dot)narayanan(at)abp(dot)in<br />chitra (dot) narayanan@gmail.com<br />(at)ndcnn <br /> </div>
