How Anger Can Transform Us
It is now a common sense that root cause of anger is a disappointment. Disappointment comes from failure in meeting the expectations. Not every expectation leads to disappointment and not every disappointment lead to anger. Only expectations which are tied to our survival leads to anger. We all have our own definition of survival. This is the reason in any situation, two people can have different emotion when hit by disappointment.
Every moment we live, we live with hope and hope gives birth to expectation. Since the definition of our survival is programmed in interdependence, our expectations are largely turned towards others. Therefore, almost every moment spent with expectation carries the potential to turn into anger. Moments spent without hope is a moment without curiosity which quickens the process of ageing. With age, we turn hopeless all the time by concluding on our relationships, career, family and self. We often dub it as maturity. This is a state where we turn anger inward which begins to erode our spirit to live.
Among all the negative emotions, anger is the most fatal emotion. Since it is directly implying a threat to the survival, it draws all life force energy through its two major components sexuality and emotionality and gets projected the person we are angry at. This is the reason, we feel drained out and hopeless after manifesting anger. The other place where your entire emotionality and sexuality is used is in love or making love. Therefore outburst of anger is reverse polarity to orgasm. It is procreative energy turned destructive.
Due to the fact that it is a very powerful emotion, it is almost impossible to do any anger management. Regardless of where you turn your anger; inward or outward, you always land up damaging your wellbeing. Your health is directly proposal to your wellbeing.
There are known expectation and we do a lot of work to ensure they are met. We call it nurturing the relationship and investing in them. This is how we continue to remain stable vis a vis our ecosystem and often take this as happiness. The problem with anger is that there are unknown factors working inside in building up numerous expectations we are unaware of. We are often caught by surprise in situations where we discover being disappointed. It is a double whammy acting upon us subconsciously. In urban setup, more often than other suburban and rural living, the inner void is growing. Need to be loved and appreciated is growing higher and routines demand are ever growing their expectations with us to deliver. One leads to another. It is like two beggars scratching each other's back and causing wounds in the process.
Is it possible to reverse the polarity of anger and create bliss within? Can we transform destructive energy back in its original form; procreative energy? Well, it is a little elaborate process to cover in an article but you can make a sincere beginning.
1. List down scenarios/events which make you angry. Leave all major issues aside and focus on micro levels such as when you reach home, you like to see your spouse is not on phone and kids are not watching TV. Avoid judging if this is a rational or irrational expectation.
2. You can also do this by picking up major anger episodes of recent past. Take one sample of time duration such as last week to first do a pilot project. It is important that you get to the pulse of this very fine process before scaling it to your entire past where lies seeds of all your expectations.
3. Now, from this list of situations of anger, take a step back and pay attention to underlying expectations. Just be here with them and do nothing about it. Keep them in your attention.
4. Next, feel ( do not imagine) disappointment in these expectations and breath those emotions of loneliness, unworthiness, unloved or whatever else may come up. This is your truth. Your emotional body. Fragile and corrupted which you have been hiding to build expectations. Once, you are in acceptance of truth, there is no expectation from self and others.
It may appear that you have been angry with others who disappointed you. Gradually, you will discover you are actually angry with yourself. The truth is we are never angry with others or self, we are angry with our existence. We do not have faith.
