The other day, on walk to the dining hall, I was with some students and we discussed, ‘What is normal?’ The conversation unfolded interestingly. Normal is being like others, doing the things everyone does, confining oneself to a small group, liking some things and disliking others. Normal also means being friendly, but when irritated and angry, retaliating with a curse word or a push. When the doorbell rings, normal means you wait for someone else to open the door.
The conversation continued into the dining hall. Does it mean normal is when we do not think and act? There was a quiet silence. I asked, “Where do we learn how to behave with others? How to include and how to exclude?” We learn it when we are young. We learn that boys are superior and girls are ‘
paraya dhan’. We learn that girls must do some things and boys must not. We learn that we must get what we want. This is what our parents and grandparents were taught and we are learning the same things. And sometimes things go very wrong.
I asked, “Do you believe that girls are inferior and boys superior?” Some boys and girls said yes, few glowered, and some were silent. I asked, “Is this what you would like your children to learn?” There was a poignant silence and one girl asked, “Is there really another way? Does it always have to be like this?” And I asked, “How do you think school should educate you?”
Attitude is shaped slowly and sometimes quickly. The slow movement enhances the potency of the status quo. Employability is a complex blend of attitudes. If I can read a situation accurately, factually, if I know what is needed and if I am willing to take responsibility for taking the situation ahead, working with others, I am not just employable, but more.
Work spaces seem to require, paradoxically, a sharp intelligent presence, a person who thinks, feels, evaluates and contributes. Further, with the multiple channels through which information and messages flow, there is a need for emotional intelligence as never before. With multiple modes of expression visibly spread around the globe, the choices of what and how one expresses have mushroomed.
Are schools, the places where the young learn to be socialised for the real world, gathering the tools and approaches to handle human relationships and knowledge? Or have schools become mere gathering places where exchange of multiple mores happens and therefore it becomes an extension of the marketplace to shape values and opinions?
Today’s schools, except possibly few, help the child retain and embellish contact with the world in an effective manner. Much education is disconnected and disconnects the child from the world around. Students meet disappointment when the realisation dawns that his / her education did not prepare him for the real world. Not only is there a sense of being cheated, but fear and anger. Is this what we want to bequeath to our young? This cannot go on!
The problem is compounded by the fact that the world of work is shifting and changing in its demands of skills, orientation and reskilling.
So, the questions for the adult in the spaces of schools are daunting and call upon inner reserves and clarity. Some of these are: What do we adults wish for our children in the future? How much of what we wish is like what our parents wished for us? What are our sources of anxiety for our children? What choices do we offer and which are we terrified of? How important is the child’s happiness? What are our certainties in terms of attitudes? And how will we build them? How ready are we to level the field and quickly see dignity in every vocation?
A crucial message that only adults can hold for the child — there are no failures, there are only failed attempts. And every attempt teaches one something valuable, even if it is not apparent. The courage to attempt a difficult move is worth far more than any achievement. No college, or tradition prepares any adult for this important mission of the heart.
Also read: Case Study | Nisha Nair | Kaushik Gopal |The writer is the Director-Secretary of the Palar Centre for Learning (PCFL - KFI) comprising Pathashaala school, Outreach programmes and a Krishnamurti study centre. He was Principal of The School, KFI from 1991-2009
