Go ahead, drop it, it is ‘effing’ satisfying. I will be damned if I lie. My fondness for profanity is in sync my consumption of it. From the Indian AIB roast to Martin Scorsese’s 2013 movie Wolf of Wall Street, it is the undisputed new cool, isn’t it? Who doesn’t love those John Oliver shows in the US that air on HBO, a channel that allows “free speech” and their talk shows frequently rate better than other shows, for research shows ‘swearing’ makes the hosts appear more human and credible?
Not convinced? I will tell you as a biochemist, it is a proven fact that cursing elicits a fight-or-flight response, which, in turn, releases pain-diminishing endorphins, making one deal with losses or frustrations better. Besides, dare I confess, in all my so-called high profile jobs, swearing helped me truly penetrate the male-dominated networks, pardon the pun. Not only did it provide gender democracy, but assisted in navigating the darker corridors of power with testosterone written all over my red lipstick.
Even critics have my back on this one. They argue that the occasional swear word is better than punching someone, it gets emotion across and diffuses the tension without having to resort to physical violence (they forget that in arguing so, they first admit that it still is violence). Mum used to say that East End roughs in London (usually low social status and lack of education) used ‘bloody’ and ‘bugger’ a lot because their vocabulary wasn’t rich enough to furnish them other options. Rather naïve one would think, for I believe they employed these words for the very reason — to shock and offend — and no synonyms could deliver their emotional state any better to their victim.
Even before I checked my mouth into rehab (for the fear of mum passing out just hearing me speak) I was an Obama girl. But when he famously responded to the BP-Gulf oil spill, on the Today show, by “am trying to figure out whose ass to kick”, and sounded ‘oh-so-passionate, why did I oh-so-cringe?’ I doubled at the thought that if I were the woman responsible for that accidental spill, would he still be rear-ending me? I dismissed it however, for West Wing using this lingo doesn’t sit well with me.
Hypocritical, I say, from management consultancies to media moguls, from movie producers to investment bankers, I know the entire industry could mouthwash everyday and it still won’t suffice. So, why did it bother me deep down?
Perhaps Tanisha nailed it. Women do feel intimidated by abuses (more so by those with a gender bias) for it is not just offensive for its profanity, but because it is low-level abuse with a subtext “you are not important, I can treat you/ your gender this way”. They also feel threatened by the body language of men, especially in leadership positions, who seem to be in poor control of their emotions, rather those who exude a lack of moderation or composure, those men who appear to have no “filter.”
So, is it the context more than the swear words that renders them a no-no at work? Never mind causing hurt; these negative words, regardless of how acceptable they are, bring down the motivation and professionalism of an individual or an organisation.
If so, where does one draw the line? Who decides when to swear at work and when does ‘salty language’ cross over from cool to uncool? Besides, for men, it is often considered their native dialect; for women, the double standards are evident. Women, even those in powerful positions, are expected to be more restrained, daintier rather, even in the midst of emotional onslaught of choicest abuses. So, the guy who curses is casual, chilled out and funny, but a woman who curses is aggressive or catty? Where does the HR policy even state that casual swearing goes but words that may reflect transition of prejudice or discrimination may lead to firing — especially if racial slurs, gender biases and epitaphs are involved?
Nowadays, people freely display their PG rated tattoos and private piercings, they cuss and swear in public, which I dare confess is their right, even if it hurts majority or minority sentiments. However, at workplaces, those rights are defined by HR for they are the custodians of culture, breaches, consequences; and unless there is a clear HR policy and its execution in place, does anyone give a….? I didn’t.
The author is Kamal Julka. She has been the brand director, Hewlett Packard, at Publicis London. Now based in Chicago, Julka is a guest faculty at ICSC European Retail School and an examiner at the Chartered Institute of Marketing, UK
(This story was published in BW | Businessworld Issue Dated 20-04-2015)
