How To Change A Political Mind…
In the political landscape that we are in today, the Twitterati believe that changing the political views of another person is nearly impossible. It is now all about Secular vs. communal, liberal vs. right wing, progressive vs. religious; the list goes on. Amidst all the arguments in the air today over freedom to eat what you want to privacy rights, we may look hopelessly optimistic when we say it is not nearly as impossible as many seem to believe to change a mind. A process does exist that can change the political mind of someone else, but that process comes with one simple condition: When it comes to changing another person's political mind, you must first be willing, truly willing, to have your mind changed as well.
This condition is 100% within your control, and it is non-negotiable. After all, why would people be interested in opening their minds to change, if they don't believe you are capable of doing the same? One of us (Rob) has spent over 30 years of his life helping people to change minds, and these minds span quite an assortment of professions. We have seen the success with executives in financial institutions, professors at leading universities, leaders and sales professionals of Fortune 500 companies, parent groups, teachers, doctors, lawyers, police officers, hostage negotiators, and many more. One of us (Muneer) has worked with a diverse set of companies to help them shape their cultures and change mindsets. While we are no strangers to changing minds and mindsets, we admit we have not offered nor have we been commissioned to change the minds of a political friend or political opponent. We are reasonably certain it is possible in the world's oldest democracy and are optimistic it will work in the world's largest democracy.
While the prospects for such a service looks astronomically high going by the price of a vote for the recent Rajya Sabha elections, don't rush to offer this service as yet. We recommend four of the most important things you will need to do to master this first with your friend, and changing his or her mind on political matters:
1. Ask questions. It sounds simple, and certainly logical, but asking questions is far from instinctive. The real irony here is that although it feels like we are controlling the conversation when we are speaking, it is the person who is asking the questions is the one really controlling things. It is a conversation, not an interrogation, so keep your questions open and you will assume control of the conversation.
2. Listen to understand, not to counter. Questions are of no value if you don't listen to the answers. Frequently, what gets in the way of our listening is the temptation to drift and begin to form a counter argument. Not only do you risk missing key information, but you also risk damaging your own credibility. You are not fooling anyone when you twist and turn, and contort your face, just waiting to fire back a response. It is far better to really focus on the answers; you may even learn something.
3. No one is 100% right or wrong. Surely there is something you can learn from another person's point of view. Surely there is something you can not only take from it, but also accept. Changing another person's mind often takes on the life of a negotiation. It is amazing what can happen when you use words like, "I can understand your frustration with…" or "I can understand why you feel like you do…"
4. Support and Build. Now is the time to present your point of view, and that view will probably differ from that of your friend. You have earned some goodwill and trust, but why ruin it by beginning your sentence with a cold and insensitive phrase like "I disagree…" It is amazing what happens when you try using the skills showing support, and then build from there. Instead of saying, "I disagree with your approach to changing eating habits of people," why not try something like this: "I think you make a good point when you say we need to address the cruelty to animals and illegal slaughter houses (Support). What if we look at the livelihood of the marginalised and the nutritional needs of the poor so that there is sustainable development, while looking for a time-bound course of action for the quality of slaughter house processes?" (Build).
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, Understanding is a two-way street.
We must be willing to tolerate - if not embrace - another person's point of view, as a condition to put forth an opinion of our own. The rest is easy. If we can accomplish this in each of us, the outspoken Gauris of India would live longer.
