7 Life Hacks For Emotional Resilience
You may have heard about the importance of ‘emotional intelligence’ in business but what about ‘emotional resilience’? Emotional resilience is the ability to recover quickly when things go badly. The ability to ‘bounce back’.
I used to manage a team made up of people of both sexes, a range of ages, various backgrounds and different skills. I noticed that while some of them coped with problems well, others were more badly affected and took longer to recover. Their performance was affected and they were more prone to stress.
The difference is due to the personality traits of people who are emotionally resilient. Some people seem to be born with those traits but, if you don’t naturally have those traits you can learn them.
Trait #1 Acknowledging how you feel and why, without letting your emotions take over your life.
How to develop it: Notice your negative thoughts and how they are influencing your emotions. If you regularly have a similar negative thought, (for example ‘Nobody likes me. Customers are always rude to me’) understand that it is just a thought. It isn’t true. What would be a more helpful thought? Write down a list of positive, helpful thoughts that you can refer to.
Trait #2 Understanding how much control you have over your life.
How to develop it: The more control you have, the less stressed you feel. Recognise that you always have options. Look for opportunities to:
I. Avoid the people or situations that stress you.
II. Alter the situation so that it is more acceptable.
III. Adapt by taking a more positive approach, adjusting your standards, or looking at the ‘big picture’.
IV. Accept and don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Learn to forgive.
Evaluate each option and decide on the best.
Trait #3 Being optimistic.
How to develop it: Being able to view the world in an optimistic light allows you to develop your strengths and resources. Build your optimism by setting yourself achievable goals, taking action to achieve them and celebrating your successes. Be kind to yourself when things do not go right. Spend some time picturing the positive future that you want to achieve and plan to achieve it.
Trait #4 Creating strong social networks
How to develop it: This is about face-to-face meetings, not just online contact. There are lots of opportunities to build your social network:
i. Join a sports club or exercise class.
ii. Enrol for an evening class or day school for a subject you are interested in.
iii. Get involved in a hobby group.
iv. Contact your friends and arrange a get together.
Trait #5 Enjoying a laugh
How to develop it: Laughing at life’s adversities helps to immunise you against stress.
i. Put coloured smiley stickers around your home and undertake to smile whenever you see one.
ii. Put aside time to have a laugh every day. Have a selection of funny books and videos to choose from.
iii. Call a friend who you know makes you laugh.
Trait #6 Leading a healthy lifestyle
How to develop it: Eating well and exercising regularly is good for your physical and emotional health. Exercise releases positive hormones into the blood and reinforces the message to your unconscious that you are looking after yourself. Commit to exercising for at least 10 minutes every day. To feel calmer you could try Pilates, yoga or tai chi. Walking and talking with a friend is good exercise that you hardly notice and develops Trait #4.
Trait #7 Caring for others
How to develop it: random acts of kindness to others is good for them and can make you happier. Decide to commit a random act of kindness every day. Could be as small as a smile to a shop worker or a compliment to a colleague. Become a volunteer. Get involved with a charity or group.
And finally, connect with nature. Noticing the things of nature around you helps you to keep problems in perspective. Take time to go for a walk and just look around.
