At times, it can get increasingly difficult to manage extremely competent people. However, help is not far away!
Nishant Kumar runs a large account in a professional services firm. Every year, he staffs the best new comers on his account. The new comers, smart and tech savvy, come up with great ideas and deliver supernormal output. However, there is a slight issue - they also question 'managerial lack of direction' (also termed bullshit in common parlance). How does Nishant manage to keen an iron hold on these juniors without coming across as an archaic dumbo?
In his book, Good Boss Bad Boss, Stanford professor Robert Sutton talks of how difficult it is to be a boss. Taking that argument further, it is way more difficult to be an incompetent one at that. With upcoming batches' smartness growing exponentially, it is only a matter of time before this breed (archetypal Nishant Kumar) is exposed and ridiculed. This breed of people needs to be preserved as conversations around them serve as great entertainment value and have huge potential for cinematic adaption!
This article serves as a primer for this breed of people - who have been very successful till date but face a serious threat in the days to come. It outlines 5 key approaches along with one liners that should be delivered by them to their competent juniors so that they leave a lasting impact on them without coming across as outright stupid!
Approach 1: Testosterone is the solution to all problems in life!
When in doubt, wear 'testosterone' on your sleeve. After '42', testosterone has been perceived to be the answer to most questions in life. Physically, this implies wearing a look of extreme constipation with incessant snapping at anyone who remotely attempts to make a conversation. A pot belly, balding hairline and inner frustration add immensely to this appeal. In addition, the following one liners will deliver the knock-out punch.
"Speak from a position of authority" (My supervisor once confessed to me that this was the most powerful one liner he had ever used on his junior)
"Let us get aggressive and exterminate the enemy." (The enemy in this case being the client who is funding everybody's salaries)
"You don't understand yourself what you are saying"
"Had you listened to me earlier you would have done a better job?"
"Let us make this discussion unpleasant. Let me prove to you why you are completely wrong" (Hail testosterone!)
"You need to establish your credibility first. Look at me - when I say something, nobody questions."
Approach 2: My beauty - Leveraging aesthetics to create impact!
This breed of misplaced creative geniuses should arouse sympathy rather than ridicule. They always thought that their real calling in life was to showcase their creative genius but instead ended up in a managerial role with extremely smart juniors. Fortunately for them, their juniors can witness their creative genius with its majestic brilliance intact. Some of the lines that do immense justice to this breed are as follows.
"This color of red used on the slide is not my shade of red" (if this line sounds familiar, it has been inspired from the Asian Paints advertisement)
"Something is aesthetically wrong with the slide - I can't pin point but I know this is bad" (It is very difficult for a creative genius to point out what is wrong - they just know it)
"What psychological bias are you trying to overcome with the aesthetics you are using?" (No explanation required - any reference to psychology and bias always sounds cool!)
Approach 3: Cheers to Christopher Nolan!
This breed is an extension of the breed mentioned in the prior approach. Their real calling was to become a blockbuster onscreen writer like Aaron Sorkin (screenwriter of Newsroom, A few good men, Steve Jobs, Money ball and The West Wing) but unfortunately that didn't quite work out. Instead, the world entrusted them with the responsibility of managing a bunch of immensely talented post graduates. However, as the latest millionth self-help book just concluded, it is never too late to showcase your real talent. The following lines are a tribute to them.
"Bring this slide to life" (After God and woman, only Microsoft Power Point has been anointed with the ability to reproduce)
"You should take a holistic view - think of every concerned stakeholder and marry them in" (Any reference to the words 'holistic', 'stakeholder' and 'marry' always sound intellectual and prove the inherent genius of the storyteller within)
"I am not able to get the feel of this presentation" (Contrary to common perception, there are certain presentations that pop out of the computer screen and actually touch a raw nerve)
Approach 4: The real sadist - he ultimately loves them all!
Well the name says it all! Irrespective of what the world believes about him, he loves everyone from the bottom of his heart. His only objective in life is to spread love and affection so that his juniors only think of him day in and day out. The following are some of the lines dedicated to this lovely individual.
"Let us add 5 data sources per slide" (Like love, professional rigor never comes easy)
"The font used in appendix of slide 243 is Arial headings and not Arial body" (Everybody loves Sherlock Holmes and his ability to identify the minutest of details. That's how the biggest crimes and business problems are solved)
"Why don't you dump what you have, go to the blackboard, think this through and reconstruct the entire document?" (This is such a fun way to spread love and affection)
Approach 5: Amnesia unleashed - the power of real memory is no memory at all!
This breed of the most brilliant people has an evolving memory. Akin to quantum physics, it is difficult to predict which side they are actually on. They are always floating between viewpoints, positions taken, guidance given. It is unfortunate that they are often looked down upon; their juniors, like initial critics of quantum physics will eventually recognize their value add!
"This is not what I meant earlier - you never understood what I said" (Geniuses are so smart that nobody gets them!)
In summary, being the dumbest in a room is never easy. Especially when you are the senior most. Sincerely practicing the above recommended approaches will go a long way in preserving this breed of people so that they keen keep "speaking from a position of authority".
Guest Author
The author, Sandeep Das, is an MBA from IIM Bangalore, a management consultant, the author of “Yours Sarcastically” and a columnist.
