Love Dot Com
A friend is getting married and everyone is looking forward to attending her big fat Delhi wedding. The interesting thing is, she met her groom on Bumble. Yes, the dating app. There are many others like her who have met their life partners through popular dating apps. This is a new trend and one driven by a change in mindset, where the person getting married wants full control over the selection of the partner without the families getting involved right at the start.
Back in the day, finding the right match was a massive family affair, with the immediate and extended family getting involved in the process of picking out the right person. Some of you who were born in the 60’s and 70’s would remember that one of the aunties in the family friend circle would be the designated matchmaker and bring rishtas (proposals). The most suitable ones were invited over with their family for a meeting – this was like the screening process. And finally, the one chosen was invited for chai, pakoras and mithai (tea and snacks) to discuss wedding matters. This process would involve both sides of the family and it was more the families checking each other out. The bride and groom hardly got to spend time with one another.
Digital Cupid
When dating apps came up in India, the love story got a new definition. People did not have to wait to get married to begin their love story. Rather, they could script their love stories. They had control over who they picked to date without family biases and interference. A recent Tinder report highlighted ‘not attached to the outcome’ and dating ‘for the plot’ as trends seen in the last year. These essentially mean, people are keen to enjoy the dating journey and are not attached to the outcome.
“58 per cent of young adults in India agree that dating apps allow them to meet people they would otherwise never have met – even those outside their social circle. For this generation, committed relationships come in all forms —from monogamy to open relationships to situationships” says, Papri Dev, VP, APAC Communications, Tinder.
Speak to the new generation of 20 somethings and you will find most of them do not want to get married till they have achieved career success. And, those who want a partner would rather have control over the process. They would rather date each other, travel together, and maybe even live together first and then decide if they want to commit to marriage. As per reports, the dating services market in India is set to achieve a revenue of USD 402.10 million this year.
When matrimonial sites came up in India, it literally opened up a whole new world. The choice was not just limited to the family matchmaker auntie’s contacts. These sites allowed for a wider selection and people found the online aspect convenient. A plus with matrimonial sites is that people who want to get married sign up. These folks are not interested in dating first, they are either done with dating, or are not interested in dating, and just want the ‘I do’.
Some people on matrimonial sites usually have more of a say and drive the process themselves, but eventually, it is still a family led affair. Reports suggest the matchmaking market is expected to reach a market volume of USD 297.10 million this year.
“Over the last three years, as a platform, we have grown 20 per cent”, says Arjun Bhatia, Chief Marketing Officer, Matrimony.com.
Don’t Rush In
It doesn’t matter if you pick the dating app or the matrimonial site, you must be cautious. Over the last few years there have been multiple reports of people getting catfished and even duped out of money. Like any digital platform, these dating and matrimonial sites too are an attractive space for fraudsters. While these platforms are upgrading their security features and are trying hard to keep their users safe, you must take every possible step to keep yourself safe.
Talking about the security features on Bumble, Samarpita Samaddar, Communications Director India & Southeast Asia, says, “We have recently updated our bullying and abusive conduct policies to prohibit doxxing and the malicious sharing of personal information, and the rules to discourage no-show behaviour. We also have strict policies related to victim blaming or shaming. Further, we use automated safeguards to detect comments and images that go against our guidelines even before users report them.”
Similarly, Dev of Tinder says the platform continues to invest in safety and has updated its AI functionalities. The ‘does this bother you?’ feature has helped increase reporting of harassment by 46 per cent and the ‘are you sure?’ feature has helped reduce potentially harmful messages sent by 10 per cent.
“We have recently partnered with acclaimed actor Vidya Balan to raise awareness about scams fraudsters employ. Upon receiving a user report, we suspend the account and block further registrations from the same individual. An email is sent to all individuals contacted by the fraudster, alerting them about the situation. In addition to these efforts, while maintaining client confidentiality, we undertake identity, salary, and education detail verification for added security,” says Matrimony.com’s Bhatia. Adhish Zaveri the VP Marketing at Shaadi.com, another popular matrimonial platform, says, “Our state-of-the-art technology, rigorous screening processes and sophisticated algorithms ensure that less than 0.5 per cent of our members encounter cases of misuse.”
One must research the prospective match thoroughly. Further, basic measures like not sharing personal and financial information are a must when dealing with strangers. In the unfortunate circumstance of getting duped, law enforcement should be notified at the earliest. “Along with the Indian Penal Code regulating all other crimes, the existing Information Technology Act 2000 facilitates lawful digital, electronic, and online transactions with the objective of preventing cybercrimes. Romance scams are cybercrimes and remedies can be sought under the purview of the Act. While these laws cover a broad spectrum of cyber offenses, challenges in awareness, enforcement and technological advancement are the major issues we currently face in India,” says Mini Gupta, EY India Cybersecurity Consulting Partner.
Dr Pavan Duggal, Advocate, Supreme Court of India and renowned cyberlaw expert says, “The Government of India has passed the Digital Personal Data Protection Act, 2023. This Act is about to come in place. Once it does, online dating apps and matrimonial websites will have to ensure compliance or could potentially be fined up to Rs 250 crore per contravention.”
He added that the government must come up with specific new parameters for improving security of online dating apps and matrimonial websites. This can be done by coming up with secondary rules and regulations under Section 87(2) read with Section 79 of the Information Technology Act, 2000.
While the sites and the government are doing their bit, you must too. Don’t rush the process, spend time with your chosen one, really get to know each other’s thought process and finally, get married or get into a relationship for the right reason – for love.
