Of Extroverts And Introverts

Bollywood and TV actor Samir Soni recently published his maiden book, My Experiments With Silence: The Diary Of An Introvert, based on selections from his personal diary that chronicled the travails of his life and career. “The book is my journey and I’m hoping a lot of people who are introverts will relate to it and feel more comfortable about themselves. Hopefully, they find will their own path,” says Soni, who gave up a cushy Wall Street job for a career in acting that was full of ups and downs. 

So what really made him write the book? “During Covid-19, I was approached by Preeti Chaturvedi, the CEO of The Sunflower Seeds, a brand consulting company. She asked me if I was interested in writing memoirs. I used to write my diary, but I never took myself too seriously as a writer. I still don’t actually,” says Soni with a smile. 

He further elucidates: “I had some things that were written down, essentially my diary. I always thought it had some merit because it was really raw. During the pandemic, I also lost a friend. So when she approached me, I said this is what I have as an example. She looked at it and said this is the perfect time and place for this to be out.” 

Mental Well Being 

Talking about the issue of mental health, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic, Soni says: “I don’t think there’s anything to get out or talk off. It’s a matter of discovering who you really are. We live in a very extroverted world in which success is measured in terms of how much money you have or the car you drive, where do you live.”

“If deep down you don’t feel like that, you try to be part of that whole culture because everyone around you is doing that. But there are a lot of people who kind of find that there’s something wrong with them or they tried really hard. So the whole book is all about discovering yourselves,” he adds. When people are suddenly forced to live inside closed four walls for long periods with themselves and close partners, they get thinking about their life and lot. He says that it’s almost as if the nature wills it for you to introspect a little. For an introvert that’s a natural process. For an extrovert though that is an extremely uncomfortable process, he adds. 

Of Silence & Labels 

According to Soni, silence just means spending time with yourself and not running after uneasy distraction. “Everything depends on how you perceive things...Very often you are influenced by the way you are raised, by the value system of that time. So the idea is to pull yourself away from all those things and to discover the real you,” he says.  

Soni defends the need to label people as introvert or extrovert. He says. “When I started seeing myself as an introvert, I would understand a lot of things. Otherwise, simply we live in a world that is extroverted. Like how big, fast, strong, rich. Even there’s competition for happiness now, like who’s happier.” 

But the book’s really important message, according to Soni, is that whether an introvert or an extrovert you are not alone because it is raw emotion. “It is essentially saying that if you are struggling with something like this, you’re not alone. I’m there,” he says.

(With inputs by Abhishek Sharma)