Invisible negotiation at its finest. These two words are also the two most important words in a negotiation. They are: "That's right."
Here is an incredible true story in the book "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss, an ex-FBI negotiator:
An extremely dangerous man - Abu Sayyaf kidnapped Jeffrey Schilling. Demanded $10 million for release. After several unsuccessful attempts, a strategy to get him to say "That's right", was used. He said it. Never asked for money again. The story had a happy ending with the hostage returning home.
Sounds like magic? But so do all invisible negotiation strategies.
How can you use "That's right" for a business situation? Let's delve into it.
How do you get people to say "That's right"?
You get a "That's Right" when you summarise a situation from the other person's point of view. You do this even when that is apparently against your interests.
For example: "Maybe you feel my services are very expensive."
Why does it work?
It creates empathy - not sympathy. When a person feels empathy, he feels connected to you and becomes friendlier in a negotiation. Humans have an inborn need to behave in a socially constructive way. The more a person feels understood, the more he feels like behaving in a good way. Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers who is considered to be one of the pioneers of psychotherapy research and who was honoured with the Award for Distinguished Scientific Contributions by the American Psychological Association (APA), called this concept unconditional positive regard.
Showing a person you know what he thinks should not be confused with you agreeing to what he thinks.
For example: "Maybe you feel you don't need my services."
You are merely being his echo. Maybe a high resolution echo.
Case Study: One of Voss' students was unsuccessfully trying to sell a pharmaceutical product to a doctor. He was a big user of that kind of medication in her area. The sale was super critical for her.
She failed to get across initially because she just kept talking about the positive effects of her product. She stopped doing that and started gunning for "That's right."
"You seem to customise medication for every patient."
"That's right."
"It looks like you are really passionate about healing people."
"That's right."
Once the doctor confirmed he was in rapport, she then spoke about the attributes of her product and mentioned exactly how it would assist him in reaching outcomes he desired for his patients.
He listened attentively and responded positively.
She cracked the sale.
And lastly, "That's right" triggers a deep influence in a completely invisible way most of the times.
Going back to our kidnapper story: The kidnapper called the negotiator two weeks later.
"Have you been promoted yet? If not, you should have been."
"Why?"
"I was going to hurt Jeffrey. I don't know what you did to keep me from doing that, but whatever it was, it worked."
